Earning my knighthood

I've been working nights the last few weeks. It's been a pleasant change from working in the days (though I really had a lot of fun in my Infectious diseases rotation). For better or worse most of my conversations have now been reduced to:

"Hi I'm Lumpage one of the night doctors. Sorry to wake you, you looked quite comfortable. The nursing staff have told me something interesting about you. How are you feeling in this regard? Oh, I see. Let me have a look at your whatsits... Well let's try this and this. No I don't know what your usual doctors are planning for you, I just look after everybody at night. Now lie still while I stick a needle in you. Okay see you later, try get some sleep!"

If all goes well we get a nice 3;30 am lunch. Alas this seems to be a rare affair.

Well it's not always like that, but that would be 90% of my patient interaction. Another 5% would be turning up to find the patient that complained of being in pain or not being able to sleep is funnily enough asleep. The other 5% the patient can't speak.

Lots of people really hate nights, but for me the experience has been good so far. Perhaps the most distressing part is when you get called to see the same patient every night. Not because the day team is doing a bad job of managing the patient, but because the same patient is just dreadfully unwell. In this regard I've found working with the haematology and oncology patients the most confronting, but also the most satisfying in terms of developing rapport and clinical acumen.

I really wish I could tell more stories, as some of them are genuinely uplifting, but I'm more conscious these days of the ehtico-legal complications of blagging.

Anyway, I have finished the medical sub-specialties rotation and now become the surgical night doctor until January. I'm excited, but also intimidated. it's been several months since I've dangled my toes near a surgical patient. Should be fine though.

Incidentally - I seem to be earning the reputation as the most chillaxed intern. I'm not sure if that's good or bad... Eh.

Oh yeah, it's one week one; one week off. Which allows me to get some quality nothing-time in. Hooray!

Maybe we're just too close to see the big picture

I find it hard to believe that this time last year I was getting to experience the life of a medical missionary doctor. I find myself constantly reflecting on the experience. The joy that it was to make a difference in peoples lves, and the incredible pleasure in getting to meet and work with some of the missionary doctors and nurses who are there with a great dedication and servant heart.

One consultant surgeon who I really admired was a great example of this. A young woman with real passion and a phenominal talent. But mostly an inspiring love of God. I was incredibly saddened last night to receive the e mail that she had returned to the States because she had become unwell the last few weeks. And now she has been  diagnosed with breast cancer. And I just can't understand it. Where is the sense in it?

Here is a young woman, actually helping people and make a tangible difference in the world, and doing it in God's name, only to be pulled from the field with metastatic cancer. I have no words, and I feel crushed.

If you're the kind of prayer warrior this world needs, perhaps have a read of her latest update: An excerpt:

"As a surgeon, I have spoken the word “cancer” countless times. To my patients, to their loved ones, in academic discussions with my colleagues, and in hearing the sad news of others. I have learned to speak about cancer without emotion and without fear because, after all, like a broken arm or a bean in the ear, it is a clinical problem that I am working to solve. Even when it involves sharing difficult news with a patient or hearing of the tragic diagnosis of a friend, it does not consume me, and rarely does it change me. This week, however, I have heard and spoken the word “cancer” more times than I can recall. And all of them in regard to me."

And so I'll leave you with this. A sneaky little recording I made of one of the church services I attended. This is a language that only two million or fewer people speak - so I can guarantee you've never heard anything like this before. Except you have.

Visions of Zanzibar

I recently put a new hard drive in to my aging 2010 era macbook. Now when I say recently I mean February. Of course, the fresh computer smell eking out from under the aluminium underbody wasn't the only benefit. It freed my computer of five years worth of files (and those things are heavy!)

Unfortunately I lost all my firefox tabs, because I was too impulsive to back those things up. So a lot of sites I used to frequently visit when I procrastinate just kind of ceased to be visited. Long story short I've not really blagged. Nor read your blags. Crazy I know.

Quick update then. I survived my 11 weeks in ED. And just as importantly I survived my surgical term in vascular surgery - and even managed to enjoy it at times. Now I find myself in gen med - where dreams go to... maybe not die. But my dreams are being palliated aggressively. The part I'm finding the most intimidating at the minute is the cover shifts though. Surgical cover shifts were easy.

Person has no blood? But more blood in! But medical cover shifts are more complex. Everyone has loads of co-morbidites. Mmm. It's okay though on the whole.

So that's it really. Haven't had anything terrible happen to me yet. Nobody has died on me and for some reason I get paid to turn up each day.

How things have changed!

And now for something completely different: Tomorrow is the shortest day of the year. So get ready to say goodbye to your seasonal affective disorder. Summer is coming! *Yeah!*

ABCDE

Well. Medical school finished and tomorrow I start work as a doctor. I'm feeling slightly angsty at present, but I'm sure once I say hello to that first patient it will all be... okayish.

On a serious note, please don't hurt yourself or become ill over the next little while...