It means I was drunk yesterday

Interesting man: "You know it's easier to get a root in this town than it is a park in the main street."
Me: "Really? I've never had any trouble getting a park in the main street." Awkward pause... "I wouldnt know about the former."
Luckily he gave me some sagely advice about how to make my parking situation look comparatively bad.

After yesterdays feel-good binge, today I was brought back to reality in the clinic. Had a terrible run of answers to rather broad conceptual questions. Whilst they weren't incorrect, they weren't the all encompassing answer my supervisor was hoping for. Compounding this, I had to then ask for my mandatory sheet of paper evaluating my performance to be filled out.

In all honesty, it was a very accurate evaluation. I'm not sure why I was hoping for more. Not that it even counts for anything!

I just don't want to be a mediocre doctor.

Spread your wings

Part of pretending to be a Doctor is dealing with the spectrum of patients that encompass the human condition. Most patients are happy enough. Sometimes patients are just generally unpleasant. Sometimes they are too focused on a problem that they can't see all the functional bits that are left over!

Every now and again though, you find the proverbial diamond in the rough. The sort of patients that justify the existence of the human race. I saw a patient today, elderly but sharp as a tack. A former bomber pilot.

Part of my learning experience is something called 'parallel consulting.' Whereby I see a patient for 30 minutes, then the GP comes in and looks over what I've done and cleans up my mess in half the time.

I really enjoyed talking to the chap today. It was possibly the first time I've wanted the doctor to run late because once my medical is over we usually make chit chat. So we got to talk about the war, flying and life in general. I told him about my love of that era and how I've always wanted to learn to fly. It was great! He sized me up pretty well too

"I like that you're speaking loudly for me, you're at the right volume. But your enunciation is terrible." It may be true, but I'm going to blame the poor acoustic insulation in those cockpits...

I really warmed to the guy. He commended my personality and told me I'd make a good GP. I don't think anyone has ever cast me as a GP before, normally my nerdy and anti-social side shines too bright.

As I passed him over in to the care of one of the practice nurses, he shook my hand and gave me some sagely advice.

"If you want to learn how to fly, get in to a glider. It's only when you can't power out of trouble that you really learn how to fly."

Part of me feels that coming to the sticks for the year has put me in to the pilot seat of a glider. It is as scary as it is exhilarating. Despite my enormous lack of knowledge, I'm really keen to see how we land this thing.

In conclusion, I know those words make for a great metaphor but I fully intend to one day take them literally.

Lanced Armstrong

All I know is this: I wish I was the one wielding the scalpel, because watching the pus explode out of that abscess... and then keep flowing and flowing and then oozing half coagulated blood. It looked like so much fun!

Ohhh the satisfying feeling the doctor must have had! Me wanty!

In surgery this week

Whilst removing a saphenous vein:
Surgeon: "Pass me the stripper please... So [student] are you married?"
Me: "Are you making a connection between strippers and marriage?"

Needless to say, I got torn apart for my lack of knowledge about the vascular system. But in the kind words of the surgeon

"It's not your fault your uni doesn't teach you enough anatomy." The perils of a four year course I guess.

It was actually a really good session. I learned a lot. Got to pull some veins out and work on my needle work. Then came back to my home hospital and sunk a cannula with nobody but me and the patient watching.

I'm still very hesitant to ask to do things though. I just hang around with puppy-dog eyes until stuff falls to me. Hopefully that will change though.

Bypass

I like hanging out with doctors. It means I can have my phone as obnoxiously loud as I want, and nobody cares because you fit right in.

They do know that my 'extremely important messages' are just facebook updating though, right?

I drove 800km this week :/

Rule number 666

Note to self: Don't ever get an embarrassing tattoo in an embarrassing area. Actually, just don't ever get a tattoo. Best to be on the safe side with these things. You never know when a room full of people will be staring at it.

Actually this ones pretty good...

Learnings of the week

1. ACE inhibitors can cause hyperkalemia. So always do repeat bloods.
2. Surgeons don't retire, they just hide in part time private practice.
3. Going home and snorting cocaine won't cure intractable bleeding.
4. If in doubt, the answers are staphylococcus, cephalexin or flucloxacillin. 
5. There are more than two types (small and big) of potato.

Chefs special: Seniors.