Reflections

I had my twenty-seventh birthdy this week. It's probably the first time in a while where I have embraced getting older. I think despite many around me losing theirs, my head is entering a good place at the minute! Time to embrace it while it lasts!

I've been really fortunate over the last few weeks to enter an awesomely reflective mood. I think being on holiday has allowed me to jump out of 'being in the moment.' A bit of cognitive re-framing!

I can't help but be thankful for my wonderful parentals. Sure I may accuse them of being weird sometimes, but they surely have been great life and spiritual role models. As I professed to a friend recently, to get to our age with a still functional family is truly a rarity and a blessing!

There are my two fantastic sisters. The unacknowledged role models with whom I shan't compare except in hilarity in which I am superior (true fact). The good eggs with whom I have thrown myself in to the carton. Thanks team! I realise you didn't have a choice but you humour me so well!

And then, the relatively recent acquisitions! The brother-in-law and the niece and nephew! The icing to an already rich family cake. A very fortunate member of this elite establishment am I.

I have outstanding friends, outstanding colleagues, amazing mentors and the opportunity to study with some of the finest and brightest students that I truthfully respect and admire.

I am blessed and certainly don't want to not realise that till twenty years from now when I only have hindsight to clarify these thoughts!

Ironically I think I've been somewhat spurred in to writing these things down by the finality of life. I've seen lots of patients die in recent weeks. For the majority old age won out, but for some a premature cause beat old age to it. I guess this is the blessing and the curse of the continuity of care in the country. The patients you meet will all eventually have their names transitioned to the whiteboard in the tearoom in the sky.

But then I reflect on these people and realise that so many have had such a great shot at life, even if they didn't crack a century. I hear tales from other students and doctors of children dying from preventable diseases in far off countries and can't help but feel my heart ache. Yet my cognitive dissonance is still so great.

What a privilege. What a curse. To be so blessed. To have our cups run so far over that we complain about the mess on the table.

So here it is, my prayer for the 28th year and beyond. To acknowledge that God has provided me with far more than I deserve, and the hope that he'll find a way for me to use the bounty he has given me. In the way of his choosing. Because up until now, trying to do my own thing hasn't really panned out as best as I'd planned!

 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.